It has been four months since COVID-19 outbreak. Lifestyle of the world has been changed and people in Korea get used to wear masks wherever they go. Sometimes, all happening seems like a nightmare or a curse which stops our lives until we wake up after endless night. My resolutions for 2020 have also been stopped and this horrible contagious disease stricking all over the world haunts my daily routine and goals.

Today is my fifth anniversary of baptism. I can still remember the day I was baptized, sunk under the water and reborn under the Bible. Because of COVID-19, I’ve stopped participating in the service and started taking part in On-line service. Unfortunately, it made me lazy and stopped me join the service, even though it didn’t take much time to connect the channel.

After a long time, I joined the service on-line at the coffee shop in the morning, and I saw my assigned seat through the camera, which was unoccupied. I felt something going on inside of my heart. I shouldn’t stop anything though the world forced me to stop. I should work hard myself to reach my goal no matter what happens in the world. I’ve been depressed and lethargic afte losing my days.

I read the notes I took on New Year’s Day. After picking the motivated and blessed verse, I wrote the dreams and plans on my planner. However, after the lethargic moments came, I stopped reminding myself of what I have to do. Here are five things I promised myself to achieve:

1. To Publish Three More Books
2. To Post Journals on “pearellenju.com”
3. To Read 100 Books and Write Book Revies on Naver Blog in Korean
4. To Read the Whole Bible Once
5. To Spend Time with My Parents (at least once a month)

As soon as I read the list, I realized that all action is not related to COVID-19. The disease was just my excuse for the laziness. I took some time to accept my mistakes and failure, and decided to reset all.

Rearranging my time and setting the daily routine to keep writing and working harder is the first action I should take right now, and then I should set the plan and start working.

No more excuses, Just start working

Recently I became super lazy and struggled waking up in the morning. I kept going to bed late after midnight and waking up right before heading to work, whose routine finally made me exhausted and frustrated because I felt all my days messed up.

I started reading a book titled, Stop Doing That Sh*t by Gary Bishop, I made a determination and recorded a video of myself making an oath, promising 7 rules.

First, it was Before-Bed Rules

1. I must not watch any YouTube or Netflix 30 minutes before bed.
2. I must read self-developement books for 30 minutes before bed.
3. I must write a journal and clear up to-do list for tomorrow.

Second, it was Morning Rules

1. I must make my bed right after waking up.
2. I must clean my second floor, especially around my bed.
3. I must drink a cup of water and put some water on my face.
4. I must not press the snooze button when my alarm rings.

Last night, as I promised, I read the book written by Gary Bishop, and actually it helped me wake up in the morning. I didn’t take any lazy actions and started moving as I opened my eyes.

I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!

For the next 100 days, I will do my best to keep my oath and change the bottome line of my life. I always believe changing the morning routine and before-bed routine must upgrade my lifestyle with high productivity. All begins with the littlest action.

I always wanted to be a writer. I dreamed to be a writer and win the Nobel Prize with my fabulous works. I wanted to fulfill all through my writing tasks. But as time goes by and I had to work and earn money for living, my focus keeps moving toward money rather than my true North.

In Korea, several stock soars due to COVID-19 kits. Before its severe outbreak, I wanted to cheer the company by buying the stocks because the company put all their efforts to invent the kits for Korea. However, I haven’t invested in stock market for long and current financial state made me hesitated. At last, I gave up. After a few days, literally a few days, it doubled, tripled, and now quadrupled. I felt weird. Though I didn’t buy stocks, I felt like I lost my money, which lasted longer than I expected.

This morning, all of sudden, I remembered my dream, the writer who changes the world with words and faith. I haven’t written any words while focusing on my career as a director of English Institute in Korea.

My dream is not just about earning money quickly. It is about giving hope to all with my warm words and philosophy. I must not forget it anymore.

I heard about one actress who had a disabled child and ended her life with misery and regret. The narrator kept using a word “what if” which made me frustrated. As the narrator was saying, “what if she didn’t meet her at the conference, her life would be different,” one frustration bothered me. While watching her story, it seemed like she blamed on others and didn’t even take responsibility. Even though her child was disabled, she should love her and took care of her with love and hope because we never know what each child would become when they grow up. It was not the woman who she gave a kiss to, but herself who made her life unfortunate and miserable.

Through the life, we face so many difficulties and troubles drowning us to the bottom of the darkness. However, I realize if I start asking myself and other ‘what if’ questions, nothing would happen and no hope and chances would come to life. My favorite author, Hal Elrod, who wrote ‘The Miracle Morning,’ left my favorite quote saying

“It begins with accepting total responsibility for every aspect of your life and refusing to blame anyone else. The degree to which you accept responsibility for everything in your life is precisely the degree of personal power you have to change or create anything in your life (XXXIII, The Miracle Morning).” and

“It really doesn’t matter who is at fault – all that matters is that you and I are committed to leaving the past in the past and making our lives exactly the way we want them to be, starting today (XXXIII, The Miracle Morning).”

When we start using the word “if” we can avoid responsibility, but we never experience our personal power and catch upcoming life-changing chances.

Today I went to work earlier than my working hour and read a book as meditation. It was true spring with soft breeze and as it came into my workplace and touched my face and hair, I could totally feel what the happiness is in my life.

I always tried to seek for the true happiness in my life by changing my life style and meeting new people; however, while reading a book before work in total silence, I felt calm and reaching who truely I am.

We sometimes misunderstand happiness as something big and surprising, therefore we believe if we become rich like Bill Gates or other billionaires, we can be happy. In fact, those who believe the happiness comes from the outer factors of life never actually be happy.

I listed up my happiness so that I can appreciate every little moment of life. Full of appreciation and happiness will turn my life to the true North.

Recently, my sleeping pattern has been messed up. I had trouble falling asleep in time amd waking up in time. I can feel all my muscles loosened up and my heart beat fast. If not working, I lost all my intension and control. Honstely speaking, I actually watched YouTube videos until 3 in the morning. Because I didn’t have to wake up and work, I forgot managing my minutes and day.

In the morning, I learned about immune system through YouTube video, which made me think I should stop this irregular sleeping pattern since it messes with my time and motivation.

Here are three promises to my immune system:

One, trying to sleep at 10 and wake up at 5.

Two, drawing all the curtains to make my room dark.

Three, meditating before bed.

I am still young, but I won’t stay young forever. I have duties to take care of my both body and mind. As I believe all starts from a little action, I never stop making efforts to take a small step forward.

I went back to work after two-week vacation. Because of coronavirus spreading over the world, a few students came to the institute and I felt a little lost. Even though I was expected how it would be like, it still made me embarrassed.

After wandering around all day, I actually clean my desk and surroundings. As I started the day, actually I listed up all the tasks I should comeplete in this week. However, with comparatively slow pace, I was confused to find out where to start my tasks. I couldn’t even finish one.

After cleaning my desk and surroundings, all my wandering thoughts cleared up and felt like getting ready to work. I should clean my place as soon as I arrived at work today, but I started with othet tasks which I didn’t even plan and think about.

I always start my day with plan and list, but like today, I just started my work as just it began without a few minutes to clear my thoughts up. In a long time, my day went without plan and list. I once again learn cleaning is really important to manage my time and schedule. Here are two lessons:

One, keep your surroundings clean and neat

Two, take a breath and think before actually work starts.

I took the unexpected, long vacation because of Coronavirus. It was the last day and my bestie came over to my town having dinner together.

I once again realized that eating is one of my greatest pleasure and spending time with my bestie is another one.

When I was alone, I never thought of spending time with others. I felt so comfortable doing all by myself, but once starting dating, spending time by myself for a long time made me feel awkward. I am so grateful for all and him as well.

Good night. Have a sweet dream. God allows us to love, so we should love ourself first, then the given one. Let’s love 😍

Last night, watching the movie titled “The Pursuit of Happyness” I was determined not to say good-bye if he goes through difficulty.

In the movie, even though I agree that if he hadn’t confronted the difficult situations such as his wife leaving, he would and might not get desperate and motivated to catch his chance, the moment when his wife finally left him made me feel so bad. Sometimes in life, we all experiece very depressing events that seem never-ending. When I confront the darkest moment of life, I alwasy desperately wish that one person, not many, but a faithful one, is with me, flashing a light by talking and laughing as usual with me.

While talking to my bestie, I told him to promise that we must not break up when one goes through difficulty. We should trust and wait until difficulty is over. Also I told him to promise that he must not say good-bye because his situations don’t seem hopeful and he struggles with financial or physical problems.

Life is not always colorful and full of joy. Sometimes, it just takes off all the colors and drowns. We should keep reading books, watching movies, and thinking about all different situations and prepare for all.

It’s Saturday tomorrow, so I watched a movie titled “The Pursuit of Happyness” which Will Smith starred in. It is actually one of my favorite movies, but I barely can watch it because it is really difficult for me to see the main character go through difficulty. However, I loved the moment when Chris Gardner actually caught the opportunity to join the internship though he didn’t even have any special background and was a high-school graduate, unlikely his competitors. Also I can watch the moment when Chris Gardner finally got a job at Dean Witter. It was pretty much overwhelming.

While watching the movie, as usual, I’ve thought about several things in life, such as only six months of hard work-very, very, highly concentrated, hard work- being required to seize chances and change life. However, at this time, I’ve more thought about why I want to get rich. Why do I want to be super rich, not just rich, but ultra-super-mighty rich?

I want to be a person who can give people chances and hope. At the movie, Chris Gardner had a hard time finding a place to sleep with his son. In fact, sometimes the basic elements for human rights are lacked to survive, which are a place to live, food to eat, and clothes to wear. I want to be rich as Bill Gates and Warren Buffet and become a person giving the second chance to people who are about to give up. In the movie, Chris Gardner was a person with strong will and firm determination that he could make all to the end, but in reality, it cannot apply to the majority of people.

Here is one of my dreaming plans:

1. To Buy as many places as I can

2. To Rent them for minimum fees

3. To Help them build their financial bases

I hope all around the world are treated fairly with fair opportunities.